Suddenly, things make a bit more sense. Or so I'd like to believe.
I should be sleeping, but something's keeping me up. I'll keep on keeping on, but it does get hard sometimes...
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."
- Matthew 11:28
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Monday, April 2, 2012
Day 2
Here I am, blogging again on 4/2.
-____________-
I did just hear the most amazing song by Cat Stevens. "Lilywhite." It just came up on Pandora, and now it's making me wish I had that album sitting around somewhere. Oh well.
I'm feeling so intensely chill right now. I really just want to go walk around a lake or something. I can't really explain it.
I'm also super happy because I'll be taking half a day off on Friday so I can come home and see my folks again for Easter. It's always nice to have an excuse to head home to MN, even if only for a weekend. The price of gas has been a bit of a deterrent lately, but it can't keep me away from home forever.
I think I'm going to start up on my novel once again. I'm not sure if it will be any good, but I'm going to finish it. If nothing else, it will allow me to say that I've done it. I'm also going to keep chugging away at my Android application, but I think I'll need to plan on making only minor additions to it each week, since there is just so much yet for me to learn about programming in general. I impressed myself the other day when I managed to write a short utility to generate garbage data. I also wrote a webpage once using the language PHP, and that was pretty darn cool because I was basically using the underlying framework that allows Facebook to work and making my own site with it!
I do think I'll need to find some other ways to spend my time, though. I need to make some friends here. I was put on the spot by an older friend the other day, and he really made me realize that I have no friends here in Madison, which I'll admit is a little crazy. I'm not sure if it's Madison or if it's me. Maybe it's a little of both. OK, it's mostly me... but I can't help that. It's like... if you stuck me in a room with someone for a long enough period of time, eventually we'd be friends. The thing is, that's not how life is in the real world. People expect you to get up and introduce yourself, but for some reason, I've never really been able to do that. I find it incredibly difficult, actually. The strange part is that I have no problems at all getting up and introducing myself to new clients or other people I work with. I can even hold my own in front of a classroom or on a stage. I just don't get it ><. The thing that really scares me is that I know it's not going to get any easier as I get older, and right now, I feel old. It kind of sucks. Aaaaargh.
"One day at a time."
-____________-
I did just hear the most amazing song by Cat Stevens. "Lilywhite." It just came up on Pandora, and now it's making me wish I had that album sitting around somewhere. Oh well.
I'm feeling so intensely chill right now. I really just want to go walk around a lake or something. I can't really explain it.
I'm also super happy because I'll be taking half a day off on Friday so I can come home and see my folks again for Easter. It's always nice to have an excuse to head home to MN, even if only for a weekend. The price of gas has been a bit of a deterrent lately, but it can't keep me away from home forever.
I think I'm going to start up on my novel once again. I'm not sure if it will be any good, but I'm going to finish it. If nothing else, it will allow me to say that I've done it. I'm also going to keep chugging away at my Android application, but I think I'll need to plan on making only minor additions to it each week, since there is just so much yet for me to learn about programming in general. I impressed myself the other day when I managed to write a short utility to generate garbage data. I also wrote a webpage once using the language PHP, and that was pretty darn cool because I was basically using the underlying framework that allows Facebook to work and making my own site with it!
I do think I'll need to find some other ways to spend my time, though. I need to make some friends here. I was put on the spot by an older friend the other day, and he really made me realize that I have no friends here in Madison, which I'll admit is a little crazy. I'm not sure if it's Madison or if it's me. Maybe it's a little of both. OK, it's mostly me... but I can't help that. It's like... if you stuck me in a room with someone for a long enough period of time, eventually we'd be friends. The thing is, that's not how life is in the real world. People expect you to get up and introduce yourself, but for some reason, I've never really been able to do that. I find it incredibly difficult, actually. The strange part is that I have no problems at all getting up and introducing myself to new clients or other people I work with. I can even hold my own in front of a classroom or on a stage. I just don't get it ><. The thing that really scares me is that I know it's not going to get any easier as I get older, and right now, I feel old. It kind of sucks. Aaaaargh.
"One day at a time."
Sunday, April 1, 2012
BEDA - Day 1
I wish I could say this was just an April fool's joke, but I am actually going to write a blog entry every single day this month.
><
It's been an awfully long time since my last post (Christmas!!), but I imagine I'll make my way back here a bit more often, going forward. That or I'll actually move to a video platform, like I promised I would earlier.
The last few months have been crazy for me. I've been far too busy for my own good, and I've had to question whether or not I'm doing what I should be doing. I stopped going to coffee shops on the weekends sometime back in early February, and ever since that time, I've basically just been sleeping a lot on the weekends. Sometimes I try to get out and do fun things, but I have really struggled to maintain interest in the usual activities. It doesn't help that everything costs so much, including gas. Seriously.
But it's not all doom and gloom. I do think I've realized a number of things, and hopefully that will make it easier for me to persevere. I've had to change my point of view on living in Madison, for one thing. I no longer care that it isn't everything I want it to be. It just is what it is, and I think I'll need to start figuring out ways to enjoy it more while I still can. I bought a bike, which has helped a little bit, since Madison has a lot of bike trails and such. I will still probably have to take some time off to head back to MN on the weekends every so often, but in the meantime, I'm just happy to have what I have. I may be alone, tired, and weary, but I've got a roof over my head and clothes on my back, and that's more than some people can say.
><
It's been an awfully long time since my last post (Christmas!!), but I imagine I'll make my way back here a bit more often, going forward. That or I'll actually move to a video platform, like I promised I would earlier.
The last few months have been crazy for me. I've been far too busy for my own good, and I've had to question whether or not I'm doing what I should be doing. I stopped going to coffee shops on the weekends sometime back in early February, and ever since that time, I've basically just been sleeping a lot on the weekends. Sometimes I try to get out and do fun things, but I have really struggled to maintain interest in the usual activities. It doesn't help that everything costs so much, including gas. Seriously.
But it's not all doom and gloom. I do think I've realized a number of things, and hopefully that will make it easier for me to persevere. I've had to change my point of view on living in Madison, for one thing. I no longer care that it isn't everything I want it to be. It just is what it is, and I think I'll need to start figuring out ways to enjoy it more while I still can. I bought a bike, which has helped a little bit, since Madison has a lot of bike trails and such. I will still probably have to take some time off to head back to MN on the weekends every so often, but in the meantime, I'm just happy to have what I have. I may be alone, tired, and weary, but I've got a roof over my head and clothes on my back, and that's more than some people can say.
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Coming in 2012
I've decided that I'd like to migrate most of this to a video platform... I think that'd be awesome =)
That being said, it's been about a month since my last post. It's Christmas night. I'm certain that there are other things I could be doing right now, but I'm thinking about what I want to do for the New Year. I'm quite certain that Madison will be boring on the evening of December 31, but I'm just not certain that I can justify the trip to Chicago. I might have to come to Minneapolis again... +_+ whatever the case may be, I hope to start 2012 out on the right foot, since it will truly be a defining year, much the same way 2011 was a defining year. I have found that I don't much like the person that I've been lately, but changing that may be the hardest thing I've had to do yet. Here's hoping, and here's to new beginnings.
Merry Christmas
That being said, it's been about a month since my last post. It's Christmas night. I'm certain that there are other things I could be doing right now, but I'm thinking about what I want to do for the New Year. I'm quite certain that Madison will be boring on the evening of December 31, but I'm just not certain that I can justify the trip to Chicago. I might have to come to Minneapolis again... +_+ whatever the case may be, I hope to start 2012 out on the right foot, since it will truly be a defining year, much the same way 2011 was a defining year. I have found that I don't much like the person that I've been lately, but changing that may be the hardest thing I've had to do yet. Here's hoping, and here's to new beginnings.
Merry Christmas
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Live Life, Part II
Back again! Where was I?
The only trick that seems to work for me is to periodically reinvent myself. Now is one of those periodic occasions. I am starting life over again from scratch. I haven't grown particularly fond of my new home, but I'm going to start loving it here. I am discarding all of my local acquaintances thus far, coworkers aside. I'm going to find what I have to do to make my life here worth living.
This coming Sunday, I want to attend an all-Spanish church service. I want to keep doing that each week, until I can think in Spanish like I used to back when I was in high school. I am going to start giving more to charity and helping around the community. I am going to do whatever it takes to get out of this rut I'm in.
BAM!
The only trick that seems to work for me is to periodically reinvent myself. Now is one of those periodic occasions. I am starting life over again from scratch. I haven't grown particularly fond of my new home, but I'm going to start loving it here. I am discarding all of my local acquaintances thus far, coworkers aside. I'm going to find what I have to do to make my life here worth living.
This coming Sunday, I want to attend an all-Spanish church service. I want to keep doing that each week, until I can think in Spanish like I used to back when I was in high school. I am going to start giving more to charity and helping around the community. I am going to do whatever it takes to get out of this rut I'm in.
BAM!
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Live Life, Part I
It's been a while. I've thought about a lot of different things to write in this post, but I think the most important thing I've come to realize is that I don't know everything. As a matter of fact, I know very little. I don't even know myself all that well, or I might have made vastly different decisions over the course of the last 18 months or so.
The worst part of it is that I've realized that I cannot change the way the world is. I wish I could, but I'm not strong enough.
To be continued.
The worst part of it is that I've realized that I cannot change the way the world is. I wish I could, but I'm not strong enough.
To be continued.
Monday, November 21, 2011
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